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A stand-up comedy life

Last night was...interesting.

Since I've been stuck at home I've been watching a lot of stand-up comedy on Netflix so have this story as though I was a comedian.


Imagine you are an eight month old kitten named Dave. Not quite full grown but no longer very tiny. It's getting kind of late so you are looking for a good place to sleep for the night. You crawl behind the dresser into the window sill where you notice you can see a pile of clothes. Perfect! Clean clothes are your favorite place to sleep. You climb your way into the weird container and go to sleep.


When you wake up it is so dark. The humans must've gone to bed too. You turn around to leave and sleep with them but find you're trapped. You can see the humans sleeping through your prison of clean clothes and plastic. You meow and scratch and your female human wakes up. She searches behind the dresser and around and under the bed. Silly human why won't you save me...



Now imagine you're me and it's two am. You haven't been sleeping well, neither cat came to bed which is really weird and you keep hearing weird rustling noises from the window. Then you realize it's meowing too. You recognize the meowing as your baby kitten and figure he got himself stuck between the window and the dresser. You don't want to wake up your husband so you keep the light off and just reach around for soft things. You grab something super soft thinking it is the kitten but as you pull it and a hat falls on you, you realize it is just your fleece robe. As you search you get more tired and confused so you walk to the kitchen and eat some pickles. Yes, tiny sweet pickles because it's two am and so you shouldn't eat cookies but peeling an orange is too much effort.


All this panic and pickle eating woke up the husband so when you come back in you find the light on and him petting an extremly distressed Dave. He tells you that he found Dave freaking out inside the second drawer of the dresser. To be honest the dresser isn't even a real dresser it is some of those clear drawers from Walmart because you're a broke college graduate. Yes, graduate. Apparently graduating doesn't actually help the being broke part of the sentence.


As you sit calming Dave down you realize what happened. When you grabbed your PJs from the top drawer you left the drawer a little bit open. So Dave was able to crawl into the middle drawer from the back. When you got back from the bathroom you closed the drawer the rest of the way. Sealing Dave in. Which was fine because he was asleep, but then you went to bed too and didn't notice him because why would you check your drawers for kittens??

For every like this story gets I'll give Dave an I'm sorry treat.


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